| There is always a reason for things |
2004-11-17There is always a reason for thingsSometime's I hate the whole idea around "Blogging".I hate the fact that I, myself, have been writing in my journals (offline) for years and years. I started to write online via a crappy starter site on homestead. I had no idea how to do any html, let alone graphic design. And I pretty much still don't. It didn't matter. I always wrote. It was something in my blood. In my soul. People thought I was weird. I was the strange girl with the notebook in her lap during lunchtime, writing away all the things that had plagued her. There was no respect for it. No one else I knew wrote. Wait - people wrote, mostly poems though. Poems were always the most accepted form of writing. So when "Blogging" came out, I was overjoyed. I thought that were others like me out there. I began to feel slightly less alienated from the world. So I blogged relentlessly. Some might even go as far to say "religiously". Then like a junkie, I had to consume everything "Blog" related. Tag Boards, Guest Books, Blogrolls, and adopted anything and everything that could be adopted. I probably have gone through 7 blogs in the last 2 years. To some this might seem insane, but to me it makes complete and total sense. Over the last year, I have made the horrorible mistake of writing to make everyone else happy. It became more of a talk show then a journal, as I had intended it to be. I suppose everyone who blogged has felt that at lease once. It's hard to kick that intoxicating feeling of having your voice heard by the masses. But then - one day you wake up, and realize that no one is really listening because you never had anythign really to say. You wrote everyday because you were made to feel that if you didn't, you were somehow less of a writer and letting down your readers. I hate that feeling! That is what exactly made me want to quit writing entirely. Some of the older journals, I just couldn't write in them anymore. One of was full of broken relationships, hospital visits, grief, drama, death, bad blood and other subjects that are often times too painful for me to re-visit. I don't expect anyone to understand why I do this. I don't expect anyone to follow me down the path of self righteousness. This is me. I'm weird.. sad.. cold.. happy.. resentful.. sleepy.. cranky.. lovely.. loyal.. and probably an even bigger pile of nice detailed, descriptive words. I love sleeping. Danny Elfman. Horror Films. Halloween. Musicals. Warm Cookies. That is me. And I cannot sit here and morph myself into someone else. I just won't do that. Feel free to delete my links from your diaries, blogs etc.. I am not going to get my feelings hurt. I write for myself now. NOTE: This entry is not directed to any one person or group. It came from thoughts that have been long stewing in me for far too damn long. I have been wanting to say for a looong time. 11:44 a.m.2004-11-16We all have those blond momentsHey you!Were you looking for "Living in a Divine Daze"? Well, needless to say, I'm a complete and total who accidently deleted the wrong blog. Yup. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. I was trying to delete my wedding blog, which was also done through Blogdrive. It asked me repeatedly.. "Are you sure you want to delete this? Are you sure? Sure?!" when I quickly hit "delete" without a care in the world. Then I went to write in my regular blog to find it wasn't there. A big duh goes to me! (Sigh) So with a foolish & slightly annoyed heart, I ask you all kindly to change your bookmarks. Thanks. 3:56 p.m.2004-11-16Religion MixSo I had been kickin' around this idea of a mix built around the idea of "religion" for about a week now. So far all I have is these songs:
Apocalypse Please - MuseCan you think of anyone more? Feel free to add a few to the 2:02 p.m.2004-11-16AudioscrobblingI just started using Audioscrobbler the other day. It basically records all the music you listen to daily via simple plug in that you attach to Winamp.. iTunes.. Real Player etc..And I have to say it's pretty cool. After you reach the 300 song mark (and I will never know how long it takes to reach that point) you can start using the "Personal radio". Personally, I was too inpatient and head over to Last FM and started to their version of the personal radio. There you just add your favorite songs/albums to your profile and the system does the rest. Easy. The radio starts to play songs from the list... and adds a few songs that you might like. I discovered the joy that is the "Muse" from it. Do yourself and discover some new music today. Or just listen to my personal radio from my profile page. :) 1:16 p.m. |
